The Surprising Benefits of ‘Scary Play’

When you think of kids playing, you probably imagine laughter, running, building blocks, or dress-up games. But there’s another type of play that’s just as natural — and surprisingly beneficial: scary play.

From playing hide-and-seek in the dark to jumping off high places, chasing games, or pretending to be monsters, scary play is all about flirting with fear in a safe environment. And while it might make some parents uneasy, experts say it’s not only healthy but essential for child development.

In this blog, we explore what scary play is, why it matters, and how you can support it without putting your child at risk.

What Is Scary Play?

Scary play (also called risky play or thrilling play) is any type of play that involves mild fear, risk, or uncertainty — but still occurs in a safe and controlled way. Think:

• Climbing trees

• Riding a bike down a steep hill

• Playing tag with a “monster”

• Exploring dark corners

• Telling spooky stories

• Jumping from heights onto cushions

For kids, scary play is more than just a thrill — it’s a way to learn about their limits, build confidence, and cope with fear in a way that’s developmentally appropriate.

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1. Scary Play Builds Emotional Resilience

Facing fear — even in pretend form — helps children develop coping skills. Whether they’re running from a pretend zombie or standing on the edge of a jungle gym, they’re learning to regulate their fear, assess risk, and self-soothe.

Over time, this helps children become more emotionally resilient and better prepared to handle stressful or uncertain situations in real life.

“It’s not about removing fear — it’s about learning to manage it.”

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2. It Encourages Problem-Solving and Risk Assessment

When kids engage in thrilling activities, they’re constantly making decisions:

• Can I make this jump?

• Is this branch strong enough to hold me?

• How fast should I go down this hill?

Scary play encourages kids to think critically, evaluate risks, and make independent choices — all crucial life skills that extend well beyond the playground.

In fact, researchers have found that children who engage in risky play are less likely to take dangerous risks as teenagers, because they’ve learned to assess situations safely.

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3. It Promotes Physical Health and Coordination

Many forms of scary play are physically demanding — climbing, jumping, running, balancing, crawling. These activities help develop:

• Motor skills

• Balance

• Spatial awareness

• Muscle strength

At a time when children are increasingly drawn to screens and sedentary pastimes, scary play offers a natural incentive to move, explore, and build healthy bodies.

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4. It Strengthens Social Bonds and Communication

When children engage in thrilling play together — whether it’s play-fighting, ghost stories, or spooky hide-and-seek — they’re doing more than just having fun. They’re:

• Learning to negotiate boundaries

• Communicating emotional cues

• Taking turns and respecting rules

• Building trust

For example, a child pretending to be a monster learns to read their friend’s reactions — are they enjoying the game, or are they genuinely scared? This builds empathy and social intelligence.

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5. It Boosts Confidence and Independence

There’s a special kind of pride that comes from conquering fear. When a child finally climbs that high slide or walks through a dark room alone, they feel braver, stronger, and more capable.

These moments help children internalize the message:

“I can do hard things.”

That sense of competence stays with them — not just on the playground, but at school, in relationships, and throughout life.

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Isn’t It Dangerous?

It’s normal for parents to feel a little nervous watching their child take risks. But it’s important to remember: scary play is not reckless play.

The key is to find the balance between freedom and safety:

• Supervise without hovering

• Let kids explore while setting reasonable boundaries

• Know your child’s limits, but don’t limit their growth

Children need chances to test their boundaries, but they also need the trust and freedom to do so. When done right, scary play is not dangerous — it’s developmental gold.

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Final Thoughts: Let Them Be Brave

In a world that’s increasingly focused on safety, structure, and control, it can be tempting to bubble-wrap our kids. But when we allow space for scary, thrilling, adventurous play, we give them something even more valuable: the chance to grow brave.

So the next time your child wants to explore the attic, climb the tree a little higher, or chase a shadow in the dark — pause before you say no. Step back (just a bit), stay close, and let them lean into the fear.